An atheist goes to heaven
Baffled and full of questions he is being shown around by God. “Why am I here? I am an atheist.” “That does not matter, all good people end up here.”…
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A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize…
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My wife is an economist and I am an engineer.
I was watching my wife make her breakfast one morning, and noticed that she made way too many trips to get each of the items she needed. So I said…
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A man obsessed with trains finally steals one and immediately crashes it, killing several people…
At the trial, the man is found guilty of multiple murders and sentenced to death. Before he faces his sentence, he’s offered a last meal, and asks for a single…
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A hunter kills and eats a bald eagle, and is arrested for violating the Endangered Species Act. He pleads guilty, and throws himself on the mercy of the court.
“Your Honor,” the hunter said, “I had no idea that it was illegal to kill and eat a bald eagle. If you let me go, I’ll never do it again.”…
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A man is in court. The Judges says,”on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?”
“Guilty”, said the man in the dock. At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted “You dirty rat!” The Judge asked the man…
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Ireland Declares War on France
The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings. “Hallo!” a heavily accented voice said. “This is Paddy Down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland….
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Scarlett Johansson is on a plane that crashes on a remote island.
She and some regular guy are the only two survivors. They make the best of their situation, scavenge what supplies they can from the plane, and try to keep going….
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There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting…
He said, “Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it’s completely gone now. My hair can’t be saved. But look outside at the forest. It’s such…
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A husband notices his wife’s hearing is deteriorating and decides to visit her doctor for advice.
“I can’t speak to my wife directly as she might find it offensive, given our old age” he says to the doc. “There’s a simple trick you can try to…
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