A dwarf with a lisp goes to visit a stud farm.
“I’d like to buy a horth” He says to the owner of the farm. “What sort of horse?” Said the owner. “A female horth” The dwarf replies. So the owner…
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Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle.
One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an attorney got on and took the aisle seat next to the two physicians….
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A gorilla dies of old age at a zoo right before the zoo opens. It is the only gorilla at the zoo since they are not very profitable.
However, the gorilla is their most popular attraction by far, and they can’t afford to go a day without it. So the zoo owner asks one of his workers to…
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The other night I was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’
The other night I was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’ I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, ‘I promise!’ Well, the hours passed…
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A teacher walks up to the blackboard and writes DEFINITELY
She turns to the class and says, “Today we’ll be looking at the word ‘definitely’. Definitely is when something is assured and there is no chance of doubt. Now, I…
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Three brothers age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together
One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs, “Was I getting in or out of the bath?” The…
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An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river. The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer “What are the odds…
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Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble across a magic lamp.
They rub it, and a genie appears. “I have three wishes, so I’ll give one to each of you,” the genie announces. The first dinosaur thinks hard. “Alright,” he says,…
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An atheist goes to heaven
Baffled and full of questions he is being shown around by God. “Why am I here? I am an atheist.” “That does not matter, all good people end up here.”…
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A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize…
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