An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard
I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep on the couch. An…
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A guy asked a girl in a university library:
A guy asked a girl in a university library:“Do you mind if I sit beside you?” The girl replied with a loud voice:“I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH…
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I had twelve bottles of whisky…
…and my wife told me to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else!So, I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I…
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Letters between a father and son
Dear son; Your mother and I love you very much, and we miss you dearly ever since you went to prison. I especially miss you now that spring is here,…
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Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man. One of the guys said he was going to bug him.
He walked over to the Irish man and tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a real tosser.” “Oh really, hmm, didn’t know that.” Puzzled,…
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Karen goes to the doctor not feeling well.
Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately. Doctor: I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news. Karen: Don’t give me this lab nonsense….
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As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees a $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: “5 lamb chops, please.”
Please.” Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog’s mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a…
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Kevin the town idiot.
A guy is with a friend. He points to another guy down the street and says “Look, that’s the town idiot. I’ll show you. I do this every week” He…
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Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.
The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends…
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The son of a bitch
Henry was doing maths homework, saying to himself… “2+5, the son of a bitch is 7” “3+6, the son of a bitch is 9” His mother heard this & asked,…
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