A bouncer is working on a Saturday night at a popular nightclub for household utensils…
… One of the regulars, a mirror, comes outside for a smoke and greets him. As they make small talk, a toilet approaches flaunting a pristine gold plated lid. The…
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The woman says: “Doctor, I don’t know what to do.
Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me.” The Doctor says: “I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband…
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A dwarf with a lisp goes to visit a stud farm.
“I’d like to buy a horth” He says to the owner of the farm. “What sort of horse?” Said the owner. “A female horth” The dwarf replies. So the owner…
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Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle.
One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an attorney got on and took the aisle seat next to the two physicians….
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An 88-year old man came to the hospital and said to the doctor, “Doctor, my 18 year old wife is pregnant with my child.”
The doctor paused and said, “There was a master bear shooter in a village. He never missed a shot. But one day he was in a hurry, and took his…
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A gorilla dies of old age at a zoo right before the zoo opens. It is the only gorilla at the zoo since they are not very profitable.
However, the gorilla is their most popular attraction by far, and they can’t afford to go a day without it. So the zoo owner asks one of his workers to…
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The other night I was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’
The other night I was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’ I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, ‘I promise!’ Well, the hours passed…
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A teacher walks up to the blackboard and writes DEFINITELY
She turns to the class and says, “Today we’ll be looking at the word ‘definitely’. Definitely is when something is assured and there is no chance of doubt. Now, I…
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A man and a woman are talking in the office
The man says: “I’m so tired from working, I wish I could get a day off.” The woman replies: “Don’t worry, I have a way of doing that. Just watch…
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Three brothers age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together
One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs, “Was I getting in or out of the bath?” The…
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