HOW TO HAVE SEX WHILE ON LOCKDOWN WITH THE KIDS IN THE HOUSE.
The only way to pull off a lockdown afternoon ‘quickie’ with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Mars Bar…
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A father puts his 3-year old daughter to bed. His daughter wanted to say a prayer before sleeping, so the father listened.
“God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless Grandma, Good bye grandpa” The father asked “why did you say good bye grandpa?” The little girl said “I don’t know, it…
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A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just as it’s going by. As he gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Impeccable timing. You’re just like Frank.”
Passenger: “Who?” Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank…
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A man has been drinking alone all day at a bar and checks his clock
“1:30am, fuck. I need to go home now or my wife’s going to rip my balls off”, thinks to himself. But as he’s trying to get up, he falls awkwardly…
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An American, a German, and a Chinese got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia
So for the terrible crime, they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced: “It is my first wife’s…
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A housewife is in bed with her lover…
A housewife is in bed with her lover. All of a sudden she hears her husband’s car pull up. He came home early from a business trip! In a panic…
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The Three Babies
An Englishman, Welshman and a Jamaican are in hospital waiting for their wives to give birth. After much pacing up and down, the nurse emerges from the maternity ward and…
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A monkey is smoking a joint
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says “Hey, what are you doing?” The monkey says “Smoking…
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A cowboy is captured by Indians
The chief tells the cowboy they’ll grant 3 requests before they scalp him. The cowboy thinks a minute then says, ” I wish to say goodbye to my horse then…
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A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, “I’ve had enough and have left you. Don’t bother coming after me.”
Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction. After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into…
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