A teacher walks up to the blackboard and writes DEFINITELY
She turns to the class and says, “Today we’ll be looking at the word ‘definitely’. Definitely is when something is assured and there is no chance of doubt. Now, I…
Read more »
A man and a woman are talking in the office
The man says: “I’m so tired from working, I wish I could get a day off.” The woman replies: “Don’t worry, I have a way of doing that. Just watch…
Read more »
Three brothers age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together
One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs, “Was I getting in or out of the bath?” The…
Read more »
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river. The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer “What are the odds…
Read more »
An old man lived alone in Idaho
He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a…
Read more »
Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble across a magic lamp.
They rub it, and a genie appears. “I have three wishes, so I’ll give one to each of you,” the genie announces. The first dinosaur thinks hard. “Alright,” he says,…
Read more »
An atheist goes to heaven
Baffled and full of questions he is being shown around by God. “Why am I here? I am an atheist.” “That does not matter, all good people end up here.”…
Read more »
A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize…
Read more »
My wife is an economist and I am an engineer.
I was watching my wife make her breakfast one morning, and noticed that she made way too many trips to get each of the items she needed. So I said…
Read more »
A man obsessed with trains finally steals one and immediately crashes it, killing several people…
At the trial, the man is found guilty of multiple murders and sentenced to death. Before he faces his sentence, he’s offered a last meal, and asks for a single…
Read more »